The Universe ain't paying me yet.
You don't know my work, because if you did, you'd already be my client.
It’s summer, and I should be lying in the sun with my tits out, eating the last of this season’s figs; instead, I am finalising the second draft of my book (now to find an editor), sorting out an email hack (you will notice I have a new email address), and fending off Angry White Men on the internet who keep sending me DM’s to “shut my mouth show me your tits”.
Yeah capitalism!
Turns out my dream of writing as my main source of income is not paying the bills like I hoped it would, but maybe getting my tits out on the internet might…?
Please help me make money from my actual work so I do not have to show my tits to The Angry White Men to pay my rent (how many times can a doctor say tits in an email before it gets weird…? Let’s find out)
You can:
Become a PAID Subscriber: €8 a month gets you these newsletters plus an exclusive long-form article and one live class a month (devotion, storytelling, breath and movement) AND my new updated version of The Condition Cure e-book.
Come to my masterclass: €15. Over 2 hours, we will go through my NEW 5-step Condition Cure process to identify where your Flame of Inner Audacity lives in your body and fan that fucker so much that it glows bright enough to scare mediocre white men.
Book a one-off session: €175. Maybe you have one little thing bugging you, and you need to bounce some ideas around.
Build an Altar: 4 sessions €700. You have one specific issue, and it’s complicated; you can feel there’s a rabbit hole to go down.
Disappoint The Empire: 6 Sessions €1050. You know that you’re the problem and you’re done with people-pleasing/manipulating and pretending you’re chill and biting your tongue until it bleeds. Embrace the unhinged, grow some tits*.
Here’s what my clients and I have been doing lately:
Meet The Advocate: Your intuition is telling you something is off; your practitioner is telling you it’s fine. I’ve been helping my clients stand up for themselves and advocating for more tests, more information and standing up when a practitioner has let them down (remember I was a doctor; I know how they operate)
Meet The Sage: Connecting with the Goddesses and the wisdom of my lineage to support my clients through situations that other people do not understand - heavy energies, planetary shifts, ghosts…? If you are like “this is weird, who will understand this shit?” It’s me. I always understand the weird shit.
Meet The Friend: After a long (very eloquent) speech, I told my client she was very smart; however, everything she said was bullshit and a huge cop-out. I have a knack for seeing when you really need a cuddle and a “there there poor little bunny” and when you need a kick in the tits. Do not come here with your bullshit unless you are ready to let that shit go.
*Disclaimer: I do not actually have the power to make you grow tits.
7 mentions of tits, 4 shits, but only 1 fuck. I’m evolving.
Please book in before I turn all my attention to OnlyFans.
Let’s fuck around and find out,
Leandra xxx
All Leandra, no AI (could AI use the word tits like that?)