They're shooting all the messengers
What a mini viral moment taught me
I have been having many a “fuck it” moment lately.
Maybe it’s being in the midst of the European Heatwave, maybe it’s finishing the 1st/27th draft of my 4th book, maybe it’s perimenopause - the cause is unimportant; the effect, though, is course-correcting.
Although I have been avoiding Australian news (the Pauline Hanson thing has me in knots), I did happen to see the story about a 40-something man who murdered a 17-year-old Thai girl over €18.
I got angry.
I made an Instagram reel. It got around 200 likes and 60 comments across Facebook and Instagram, but what came after surprised me.
The comments were not ones condemning the man’s abhorrent actions; no, instead, the comments were attacking me.
It felt familiar. In my body, I searched for the memories - snitches get stitches, tattletale, dibber dobber cindy you go to kindy - schoolyard taunts that taught me very early on: you don’t tell.
But I’m not in school anymore.
I picked up my phone and recorded another off-the-cuff yap.
The Mini-Viral Moment
Over 20,900 views and almost 300 comments on my observation that, while perpetrators might face repercussions, society often shoots the messengers.
And I cannot help but be the messenger.
The most surprising thing is that I did not say anything groundbreaking. I didn’t write a long speech or research for hours on end; I simply had the audacity to say what we are all thinking.
It is that audacity that everyone reacted to.
The biggest problem my clients bring to me is that they feel unprepared to speak up.
I know you’re the same.
Because I was too.
When Brad from HR tells a racist joke like it’s Shakespeare, you don’t say anything because you don’t know the latest statistics on Muslim immigration or when it’s obvious that Tate’s Dad from soccer is part of the manosphere by the way he defends Tommy Robinson, and you just look at your shoes, because you can’t quite remember that Audre Lorde quote.
We have all been there.
But if that reel taught me anything, it was that it does not matter what words you use. You don’t even need words.
You need audacity.
A bold energy combined with a disregard for Empires “normal” limits and politeness. Audacity is a felt sense in your body. You cannot replace it with memorised facts or AI generated speaches.
It is lived. It is embodied.
It is the mama lion who stares down bigger males to protect her cubs, the female octopus who throws rocks at creatures who piss her off, the matriarchal elephants that chase down cars - embodied audacity says everything with energy, not words.
And that is what the mediocre white men on the internet were angry about.
That I, a brown woman - not young, not thin, no make-up or hair done - had the audacity to say “we should care about other people, we should not let bad behaviour slide.”
I am not rich; I am not powerful, and as Hilma AF Klint said: “I am so small, I am so insignificant, but the force that flows through me is so powerful that I must go forward”
I have worked consistently and diligently at fanning the flames of my own inner audacity. It hasn’t made me popular, but it has made me a force for change - undeniable. A constant disappointment to Empire.
I think I like that better anyway.
On Tuesday, the 28th of July 10.30am WEST (Lisbon), I am holding a pay-what-you-can Masterclass: Fan the Flames of Your Audacity. Over 2 hours, we will go through my 5-step Condition Cure process to identify where your flame of inner audacity lives in your body and fan that fucker so much that it glows bright enough to scare mediocre white men.
These words are all mine, written with the flame of my audacity, no AI required. Next time, on what denying your audacity and choosing to be nice is really costing you.